Bill Cunningham / In The Blood (for Christian)

I've been thinking about the Bill Cunningham fiasco for a few weeks now. At the behest of my buddy Christian I have decided to address this situation. I was inspired by a recent conversation my wife had with my father-in-law on the subject of politics so I will try to tie it all in.

Let me start by saying that Barack Obama drew 13,000 people to the University of Cincinnati, Hillary Clinton drew 1,500 people to Cincinnati State and John McCain drew 500 people to Memorial Hall. One of those people at the McCain rally was local radio embarrassment Bill Cunningham. While most progressive minded individuals in Cincinnati really don't give Slick Billy a second thought, he has gained world wide attention with his typical arrogant Cincinnati Republican rhetoric. I realize those are harsh words because I know people locally who vote Republican and are pretty decent human beings. But hear me out.

When I first heard about Billy's comments I was not shocked in the slightest. After all, he said those rehearsed, pre-approved words at a John McCain rally. What do people expect? While most people in the country were appalled at the gall of this shock-jock-strap and wanted his head on a stick I got a different reaction here in the city. Not to mention I had my own take on the situation. What most people feel is inexcusable and intolerable racism your typical nationalistic Republican Cincinnatian looks at Billy Boy Cunningham as a hero for the cause. Let me explain.

Without naming names and relationships to those names, here's how I figure it. In the tri-state area there is a built in hatred for black people, especially poor black people. That hatred also extends to middle class and successful black people. Barack Obama seems to fit all three categories so he is the perfect prototype for that "in the blood " hate mongering that is so prevalent in our town. Maybe it has something to do with the Millcreek or all those crappy beers that Hudepohl brewed over the years but it's something that even a transfusion can't seem to change. I've been told that the only true news source in this country is Rush Limbaugh. So you can see how deep that dirty blood runs. My wife and I tried to figure out what the Republican spin machine could use to make Barack look bad. We looked at all the angles and I came up with the one thing they can use against him. HE IS BLACK! How dare he!

If you listen to the hardcore white suburban Republican male of all ages the deep seeded hatred for blacks and other minorities is sickening. They would never come right out and say it because that just isn't true. If I came up to them and said,"Hey man, you are a racist", a fight would ensue. The reason being is that "everybody" feels that way. If the people in your circle are racist and they use the same rhetoric, then it's not wrong or out of the ordinary, it's o.k. if the folks at the water cooler all listen to 700 WLW and get their news from FOX and agree with that point of view then you are in good shape. If you are a white drug counselor or a white social worker and the people you deal with are less fortunate and you have some superiority over them, you can look down at them and talk ill of them it always makes you feel better. It just re-affirms that they are less than you.

Which brings me back to people like Bill Cunningham and the "humanitarians" who follow him. There is no way that a black Democrat man is gonna get one up on me. There is no way a white Democrat women is gonna get one up on me. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn't happen and they will. I never understood middle class older white men who don't really have anything and who are not going to leave their kids anything and who are not invited to any Republican fundraisers because they can't afford it still feel like they are part of the "party." Guess what? If you didn't cast your vote for them, you would be a shithead like the rest of us.
Christian wanted me to write something to tell Bill Cunningham to shut the fuck up. What if he did shut the fuck up? Who would the Republican sheep in Cincinnati flock to? Who would tell us that we need God in our lives? Who would tell us that perpetual war is awesome? Who would tell us that $5 for a gallon of gas is a good thing? Who would tell us that universal health care is stupid and won't work? Who would tell us that Global Warming is a liberal scare tactic? Who would tell us that bombs and Islamic fascists are more important than educating our kids? If we don't fear communists--I mean terrorists--how are we going to control the masses? I ask Christian, do want that responsibility on your shoulders? George Bush and all the right wing talking heads are gods. You have to follow them and their agendas with total and complete "blind faith." They would never lie to me, that's why I went out and bought all that duct tape a few years ago.

Remember when you had your favorite band that nobody "got" but you? Then they hit the big time and made millions of dollars and you traded in your albums and found another band because all the turds liked them now? That's the way I feel about the Republican brood. I don't want them on my team. I don't need the contamination. So I won't tell Billy Boy Cunningham to shut the fuck up. He serves his purpose in this town. So if you are a Cincinnati Republican and you cut yourself and lose a pint of blood, don't worry Dr. Cunningham will replenish it with a gallon of his own special brew. The City of Cincinnati went too long without an embarassment, thanks, Bill, for putting us back in the spotlight again.